The Western Concept

By Natasha Ryzhova, Op-Ed Editor

America, make way for the ‘ubersexuals.’

On April 14, the Nobel Prize Committee published a list of the nominees for the No-bel Peace Prize. Immediately, some “experts” and self-professed Nobel fanatics started blogging and choking on the Internet over whom the reward will go to. The majority of these second guessers championed Bono, a nominee and the lead vocalist of the musical group U2. As it happens, Bono also stands for ‘ubersexuality.’

The term ubersexual was used for the first time in Marian Salzman’s The Future of Men, which was published in September, 2005. It is derived from the German word über, which means over (or, if you insist, above). And it seems America was just about ready for another play at male sexuality.

Not everybody got used to the term metrosexuality; however, the stars of ‘ubersexual-ity’ are already storming the stage. Ubersexuals stand way above the previous stereotypes of what I like to call the “maleness” (or, if you again insist, the “malininity”) in men. Ubersexuals are not macho with women; however, that does not mean they are ineffec-tual weaklings either. They are, according to Salzman, more men than the mean men. Unlike the metrosexuals, the ubersexuals are not concerned with the different types of hairspray.

An historical analogy is possible: ubersexuals and metrosexuals are to the 21st century as the gentlemen and the “dandies” were to the 19th century. There is one difference though: gentlemen could only come from nobility. In this modern age, the ubersexuals hail from everywhere.

Ubersexuals are not afraid to express their feelings. They are always tidy and elegant. But wait; do no mistake their fine fettle for foppish foolishness. Their elegance is but a result of their extensive travels and indiscriminate erudition. They, unlike the metrosexu-als, are not narcissists. The most important thing for ubersexuals isn’t sex; their main concern is improving relations.

At the end of 2005, JMT, an internet gossip magazine, published a list of 10 flagmen of ubersexuality. The list goes: Jon Stewart (#10), Guy Richie (#9), Pierce Brosnan (#8), Ewan McGregor (#7), Barack Obama (#6), Arnold Schwarzenegger (#5), Donald Trump (#4), Bill Clinton (#3), George Clooney (#2), and, of course, Bono as the leading man.

Bono is known not only as a talented musician, but also as a public activist. He at-tends summits, conferences and meetings with leaders of various countries – often more than he attends his own concerts. He discusses Africa’s AIDS issues with President Bush, he meets the Dalai Lama about World Peace, he has dinner with the UN General Secre-tary about poverty in Africa and still, he somehow makes his way home to his family.

So who’s to stop Bono from getting the Nobel Peace Prize? Indeed, the era of the ubersexuals has only just begun.